Sunday, July 24, 2011

Still More Things In My Yard

As the entries I posted on April 8 and April 13 proved, I don't have to go a faraway Lake Erie beach to find odd artifacts of human civilization mysteriously appearing at my feet. All I have to do is go out into my yard.

Here, for example, is a little something I discovered when I stepped out my door on or about July 15th:



(Actual Size: 1.5" wide by 1.75" long)

I've never been to that particular theater myself but I have it on good authority that it's well over 5 miles away from where I live.

Maybe the ticket walked to my yard in the week between the day it was sold and the day I discovered it?

However it got here, it taught me that a movie ticket actually grants a license.

A license that can be revoked!

Who knew?

Here's another item - one that I discovered just yesterday:

(Actual Size: 7.5" wide by 4" high)

This one really has me flummoxed. I've never seen peanuts for sale in 25 pound bags. I don't know of anyone who might want that many peanuts at a time. And I've never heard of Alpharetta, Georgia.

If I had to guess, I'd say that someone made this up on their computer, printed it out, and then carefully placed it in my yard just to toy with me.

Fancy peanuts indeed. I've seen a good number of peanuts in my life and I can tell you that the word "fancy" never once entered my mind as I gazed upon them.

The jig is up, Sir. Please relocate your childish mind-playing games to someone else's yard or I shall have no choice but to alert the proper authorities.

(NOTE: Is this actually YOUR peanut bag label? Did you accidentally lose it? Have you been frantically looking for it ever since? Are you willing to pay a substantial reward for its safe return? Please contact me at your earliest convenience!)


  1. Why, why... yes, those ARE my peanuts! And of COURSE, they're fancy! The shells, themselves, come with a special golf foil wrapping with teensy weensy blue bows. And the peanuts, themselves, are plump and particularly smooth, all the better to inhale and shoot out.

    Here, you unbeliever, you:

    Ahem. ;-)