Monday, August 29, 2011

The Hitlers Of Ohio

Among the odd facts I've learned in recent days are these:

----- The Panama Canal can handle only 35 ships a day

----- It costs about $65 now to put a QR code on a tombstone

----- Octavian (the future Roman Emperor Augustus) paid for a huge public festival in celebration of his first shave - an event that more or less coincided with his 24th birthday

The very oddest fact I've learned lately, however - far odder than the fact that Ohio has 630 species of spider - is that Ohio has a Huber-Hitler Road.

It was mentioned during a story on the local news last night.

The name of the road was so startling that I'm afraid I can't recall anything else about the story.

A quick web search confirmed that I hadn't misheard the reporter and that there really is a Huber-Hitler Road just about 30 miles to my south.

Hitler Road 2 runs into it.

Which is of course an extension of Hitler Road 1.

Perhaps you've heard of Hitler Road 1? It's the one you took if you've ever visited Hitler Ludwig Cemetery.

It turns out that among the 270 people buried there you can find no fewer than 9 Hitlers.

None were named Adolf - but I have it on good authority that one was Gay.

And another was known as George W.

You can learn more about this illustrious Ohio family in an Associated Press story from about 6 years ago.

As you might have guessed, the Ohio Hitlers were well-established in central Ohio long before Adolf permanently tarnished the name.

According to them, they're the only true family of Hitlers in the world. Adolf, you see, was the bastard child of a woman who ended up marrying a man named Hiedler. The misspelled version of the name eventually stuck.

Which probably annoyed George Hitler to no end.

George was an executive with Firestone in Akron. At some point the company president asked him to change his name. George refused.

I probably would have already changed my name to something much less controversial, like Torquemada or Dracula, but maybe that's just me.

In any case, as far as I can determine, Ohio is the only place in the world where you can drive down a Hitler Road.

If you've actively been looking for one to drive down, thanks ahead of time for keeping it to yourself.


  1. Heil Hiedler just doesn't have the same punch to it.
    Did you see this? Algore calls Global Warming Deniers racists:
    It's about time somebody pointed that out.
    The captcha is ouseur. That might be a contraction of oui monsieur. Or maybe an epithet: O use ur ... ur what? Brain?

  2. News Flash: Michelle Bachmann thinks God is a joke:

  3. I personally would be in favor of changing Adolph's last name to Shitler.

    Incidentally, while we don't have a Hitler Road around here, we DO have a Monster Road, which is just a short winding road up a hill.